Beauty and the time beast

Bathing beautyI have a wealth of advice that I could offer my younger self.   Never vomit into a wicker bin after consuming a large curry and half a bottle of vodka would be one.  Don’t get into the back of a parked police car and demand to try on the policeman’s helmet would be another.  Oh, I could ramble on for hours, imparting the pearls of wisdom I’ve picked up along my forty-one year pootle through life. There is, however, one single thing amongst all other topics that I will never tire of droning on about to my twenty/thirty-something friends and even my eleven year old daughter and that is…….

…….look after your skin and teeth!!

Shallow aren’t I? Bet you were expecting something more profound weren’t you? Well yes, I could do all that ‘you’re in control of your own destiny’ and ‘no-one can make you feel inferior without your consent’ business but those with youth on their side will learn this along the way, thanks to ‘inspiring’ quotes plastered all over social media. My advice is slightly more superficial but no less useful in spite of this. Take heed young friends, read and apply from the following list and I guarantee that you’ll be thanking me when you’re forty!!

Things everyone should do in their youth to help them into their forties 
(not a very snappy title, I grant you but you get the idea)

1. Religiously brush, floss and rinse your teeth twice a day (come on, how many of you really do this?). Numerous fillings, crowns and teeth whitenings from my thirties onwards have often brought that song ‘oh I wish I’d looked after me teeth’ to mind as I yearn for the millionth time for a Hollywood smile like Cheryl Fernandez-whatsherface
2. Don’t pick your spots. Red acnes blemishes do not invite sympathy when you’re forty-something. They just make people think that you should know better than to squeeze your spots at your age
3. Don’t try every single skin care product ever invented in a bid for clear skin. Stick with a product for a few weeks. I can’t tell you how much money I’ve spent on ‘miracle’ lotions, potions and creams before always sheepishly going back to my old faithful £2.99 Superdrug Vitamin E moisturising cream
4. USE HAND CREAM!! One word: MadonnaHandcreams
5. USE SUN CREAM!! Two words: Leather face
6. Moisturise your elbows. If you think hands are a dead giveaway of your age, check out your elbows.
7. Eat good fats – oily fish, nuts, olive oil, all that kind of business. They help stop your face caving in after a certain age and are good for you into the bargain (obviously that’s also important!)
8. Get out in the fresh air (provided you’ve done all of the above of course!). Get a bit of exercise and stop your body heading for that downward droop
9. Hang around with people younger than you! Yes, you might feel a little envious of their dewy skin and taut bodies but by God their attitude to life will help to keep you young!

Good luck! x


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