Paint a vulgar picture

Last weekend I decided to bite the bullet and make a start on painting our spare bedroom.  Anyone who knows me well knows what a traumatic experience this is for me and why I’ve been putting it off for so long; sadly I was born without a home improvements gene and have not a clue as to how to wield a paint roller whilst balancing on top of a rickety step ladder.  I’m impatient, clumsy and I possess what can only be described as the painting equivalent of the Midas touch, for everything I touch gets covered in paint.  Clothes, hair, eyelashes, paintbrush handles, the floor, even my leg where the paint penetrated my trousers are just a few examples.  Hansel and Gretel should have ditched the sweets and just turned to me for trail-leaving advice.

And after a particularly stressful first attempt that left my arms feeling like they’d come away from their sockets and a fetching patchy effect on the ceiling, I was feeling pretty dejected and decided that I would need a different approach if I was to get this job done.  So the next day I brought in the big guns – some gems from my cd collection – and what a difference having a spot of music made!  When you’ve got good music going on, anything seems possible; I actually started to enjoy the experience and the hours just flew by as I splattered and splodged along to an eclectic mix of tunes.

More lettuce anyone?

More lettuce anyone?

So instead of making this post a ‘top tips on successful painting’ kind of post (because I don’t actually have any tips except that a plastic salad server makes an excellent paint stirrer), I thought instead that I would share with you a few of the musical moments that helped get me through my painting traumas…because I love to nose through other people’s playlists for musical inspiration and hopefully some of you lovely readers are also music lovers and enjoy doing the same.

So without further ado, get your overalls on, crank up the volume and get ready for…….

1. Never been better – Olly Murs
It’s not big and it’s not clever but I’m a bit of a fan and I LOVE this cd!  This cheeky chappy’s catchy tunes are the perfect way to kick start any proceedings and he certainly got my paint rolling. He’s never going to set the world on fire with his song writing skills but let’s face it, with my slap-dash painting ways, I’m never going to give Michelangelo anything to worry about, so who am I to judge?

2.The very best of The Smiths
From one extreme to another, I can’t help but always be cheered up by the terminally maudlin warblings of the legend that is Morrissey. I could listen to this ten times over just for one track alone and that is ‘Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me’. What a tune, what a cd and I barely even noticed that my arm was nearly dropping off from over vigorous paint rolling at this point.

3.Greatest hits – The Cure
Garish, oversized furry jumpers, atrociously applied make up and really bad hair are the order of the day here.  But enough about me, let’s get back to the music.  I never really took much notice of song lyrics way back in my youth but eventually I twigged that if you actually listen to the words, some songs are even more brilliant than you originally thought.  What a musical epiphany!  Whereas some song lyrics though are far too clever just for the sake of it, others are so much more effective because of their modest simplicity. ‘Lovesong’ is a fine example of this kind of genius and if I was a hopeless romantic, this would, without a doubt, be the song that I’d want my knight in shining armour to write about me.

4.Ledbetter Heights – Kenny Wayne Shepherd
When the paint fumes start to take hold and your mouth is bone dry because everyone in the house has forgotten you’re stuck up a ladder and might occasionally require liquid refreshments, this is the optimum time to crank up some big, bluesy gee-tar riffs, so mean and dirty that the room shakes and you leave an imprint in the freshly painted wall where you tried a bit of slide guitar with your paint roller along to ‘Aberdeen’ and had to put a hand out to steady yourself.   

5.Kaya – Bob Marley
I reckon if anyone could put a smile on Morrissey’s face then Bob would be your man.  Everyone needs a bit of Bob Marley in their life;  his mellow, laid back tunes have brightened many a dull moment for me and are always guaranteed to make me think about my brothers – also big fans.  Any one of his albums could have done the job as I packed away my paint brushes but this one contains a couple of crackers in ‘Misty Morning’ and ‘Smile Jamaica’.  Make you wanna move your dancing feet….couldn’t have put it better myself Bob!

And now over to you lovely reader, I’d love to hear about some of your favourite albums and tunes…..


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