Wax on, wax off

Fear not dear reader, this isn’t a post about how I remove excess hair from various body parts – I’m far too much of a lady to reveal such secrets – instead, I thought I’d bore you all with tales of mine and Molly’s whistle stop tour of London yesterday and the fun we had at Madame Tussauds Waxwork Museum.



After securing two coach tickets for the bargain price of thirty three pounds for the two of us (train tickets being nearly one hundred and fifty pounds), we journeyed for nearly three hours before arriving in London in the sweltering heat, raring to start our adventure. We headed straight for Madame Tussauds and fortunately didn’t have to join the two and a half hour-long queue for tickets, as I’d cannily cashed in some Tesco vouchers in eager anticipation of our visit.  Our queue was a mere forty minutes long but let me tell you, every single of one of those minutes felt like an eternity, as the blistering sun beat directly down, holding my legs hostage in my thick denim jeans and the woman behind me kept standing so close that I stepped back onto her foot on more than one occasion during our wait.

We finally entered the museum and as I recovered from my heat exhaustion, we were swept along with the masses, stopping briefly to take a quick picture here and there before being moved along by people waiting behind us. There were some fantastic waxworks which attracted loads of people and it was difficult to get a picture at times, let alone stand and admire the detail.  Kim Kardashian, Kanye West and One Direction were particularly popular…and then there was Sean Connery, standing there all alone.  I reckon I could have stood next to him all day long and not been bothered by anyone else wanting to take a picture with him, poor chap.  And he’s shorter than I imagined.

Talking of height, I think that’s one of the things I found most interesting – seeing how tall these famous people are in the flesh. Cheryl Cole is tiny, Queen Victoria was even tinier, Colin Firth is taller than I imagined and Russell Brand is REALLY tall (although I do have to question the part he’s played to land himself the waxwork gig).

Here’s an interesting fact about the waxworks – every strand of hair (which is human) used on the models is inserted by hand, using a forked needle and it takes about five weeks to complete a head of hair. Molly and I thought this was entirely plausible until we came across Camilla, standing next to Charles and it looked like her hair had taken five minutes to arrange, if that.  Unfortunately I couldn’t take any pictorial evidence of this as we couldn’t get anywhere near the royal family display, except to see Diana, who was stood completely away from them, looking rather serene and beautiful.

As we went round I was struck by how surreal it was, with people taking selfies next to these waxworks like they’re proper celebrities, and I couldn’t help thinking it was all a bit daft….until we entered the Star Wars exhibition and I completely forgot myself, salivating over old, familiar characters and making Molly take pictures of me with them – I could not get in that that co-pilot’s seat next to Chewbacca fast enough  – I was making the sound effects and everything while I sat next to that bad boy!

Madame Tussauds is brilliant but it’s not a place for those with personal space issues (me). At every waxwork there are people breathing down your neck to take pictures and at one point, Molly was waiting to have her picture taken with 1D when a girl standing behind her put her arms over Molly’s shoulders and started taking pictures, using Molly as a human tripod.  ‘EXCUSE ME!’ I protested in my best British accent, and she just shrugged her shoulders and moved on.


Worth the wait though


We escaped from Madame Tussuads with our lives just about intact and headed to Pizza Hut for a spot of lunch. We chatted about our favourites and decided that Cheryl Cole and 1D were Molly’s and mine were Helen Mirren and Bruce Willis.

Molly asked who guy stood next to Adele was as nobody wanted to take a picture of him and I told her that it was Jimi Hendrix.  And thinking about it, The Beatles and Elvis Presley didn’t seem to attract that much attention either (I was even able to twang Elvis’s guitar without being pushed out of the way).  I bet back in the day, people milled around them just as much as they do the likes of David and Victoria Beckham or Brangelina nowadays – I wonder if today’s celebrities will still attract the same number of admirers in years to come or if they will be left standing there alone like Sean Connery, just waiting to be recognised.

We had a fab day in London and even managed to pull in a bit of shopping on Oxford Street before heading back for our long coach trip home. I thoroughly recommend Madame Tussauds – but I’d suggest that you book tickets in advance, don’t go on one of the hottest days of the year in your thickest denim jeans and, if you don’t like lots of people, that you carry a small taser gun with you to take them down with if they get too close to you.

And for goodness sake, please take a picture with Sean Connery!


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